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Weblog Archives July 27, 2004 So Jack (Jonathan Marcus David) is doing just great and he's measuring a little big for his age (I'm 18w3d and he's measuring more like 19w6d) and he can really swim. It was incredibly cool to watching him swimming around, flexing his back, kicking and punching and just, well, being an active little guy. If he keeps growing at the same rate, he may show up earlier than expected, like December 18 or so rather than the previously predicted December 25. I just hope he doesn't drop by 7 weeks early like his big brother did. That would be hectic. I think some of my relatives are rather disappointed that the baby isn't a girl but I really don't give a damn. I would have been happy to have a little girl, but another boy is delightful too. And I really like the idea of same sex siblings, I have two sisters and we get along famously, I would like for my kids to get along the same way. Of course, this makes 3 males to 1 female for this household so I am going to be drowning in waterpistol shots and frowning at fart jokes for years to come, but whatever! I'm really looking forward to seeing The Boy interact with his baby brother and I can't wait to help the two of them build forts or bake cookies or whatever they happen to like to do as a team. And I presume they will like to work as a team because I team up well with my sisters and The Man teams up well with his brother so we have a history of good sibling relationships. If Jack was Kate, I'd still be looking forward to seeing her and The Boy interact but I feel like it would be a different kind of interaction, equally enjoyable, but different. But hey, Jack is Jack not Kate so there isn't any real point in discussing what ifs. I am pleased to report that I didn't even have an 'oh, well' moment when I saw that the baby was a boy. I had an 'oh, cool' moment because my curiousity was satisfied. And I don't have any trouble wrapping my mind around the concept of having a boy this time so it's all good. Jack: We're looking forward to meeting you in December, keep growing and try not to kick Mommy too much while she's sleeping, please. July 26, 2004 I am a jerkfaced jerk. I did not mention my baby sister's birthday in my weblog. Ange's birthday was July 12 and if her birthday rocked half as much as she does, it would be too much for most people. So Happy Birthday Ange, sorry for the delay! So my ultrasound is in the morning and I'm a little nervous. It struck me today that the ultrasound is not merely a means of determining the baby's sex, it's also a diagnostic tool to determine the baby's health. Yeah, I know that's obvious but I had gotten so caught up in the excitement of (hopefully) finding out what kind of baby I'm having that I had pushed the medical part to the back of my brain. Now don't think that I am consumed with worry here, it's not like that. I mean the baby is most likely just fine, I'm healthy, The Man is healthy and we don't have any major health issues in our families. We're on pretty solid ground, well as solid as you can be, there's always those genetic flukes. And whatever the results, I know I can handle it. I deal pretty well with most things, after a short adjustment period of course. So I'm not going to be tossing and turning all night in fear, but I do have butterflies. Of course,some of those little critters are the result of my excitement and finally getting a look at the little one. I really can't wait until 9am. I think the little one is nervous too. S/he's been jumping around like a fish al night. I think Jason may be right, s/he may be trying to decide which is his/her best side, whether to put the umbilical cord in front or behind, you know typical picture jitters. I just hope the little critter doesn't keep its legs crossed. I will be consumed by curiousity if I have to wait until December to figure out if I'm carrying Jack or Kate. Tune in tomorrow for the latest installment in 'A Mombie Who Needs To Pee: An Ultrasound Adventure' Baby: Please be good to your Mombie and be an exhibitionist for just one day! And let that day be tomorrow. July 18, 2004 I need to figure out how to deal with guilt. Specifically Mombie-guilt, I'm pretty good with the other kinds. You see, as a stay-at-home mombie, I spend a lot of time with The Boy. A lot. But I still feel like I don't do much with him because I have other things to do in the day time, make meals, clean him up, tidy the house, do some writing and so on. It's not that I ignore him or anything ridiculous like that, it's just that I don't spend hours at a time playing with him or invent exciting new activities for him to do all the time. And that leads to guilt. And if that's not bad enough, when The Man spends time with The Boy they play. Sure, Daddy might have the TV on or be chatting with company but he's there on the floor pushing a toy car around or trotting dinosaurs along the path in the dinosaur park. Now if I was sensible, which for some reason I can't be on this issue, I'd realize that my day time efforts free Daddy up to play instead of doing housework or paying bills etc. Alas, I'm not sensible and I still feel bad about it. Then there's the other source of Mombie-guilt. I'm a writer and I need long periods of concentration to get certain things written. So sometimes, after supper, or on the weekend I hide in my office and work on those things. But I have trouble concentrating on my writing because I feel bad for not spending time with my family. Of course, I feel bad all the time because The Man has the main responsibility for supporting us and writing is the only thing I can do to make money that is compatible with staying home with The Boy (well, I also teach writing and drama classes, but not in the summer). so I have to write to alleviate the money guilt but when I take time to write I get a different sort of guilt. Nice catch-22 there, huh? The even-more-fun part is when I do manage to totally lose myself in writing, I feel bad when I come out of the trance. You know, because I enjoyed something other than motherhood. Stupid, huh? Intellectually, I know that I spend lots of time playing with The Boy and that he enjoys the time we spend together. And I know that a Mombie who gets to write is much happier Mombie. But emotionally it still gets me every time. Like I said above, I need to learn to deal with it. Perhaps eventually it will go away. July 6, 2004 Three weeks from today I will know what kind of baby I'm having. And I can't wait. I know some people like to keep themselves in suspense until the birth, guessing what the baby's sex is, buying green, yellow and red clothes, having two names picked out. I am not one of those people. In fact I can't even identify with those people, I must know ASAP. And it's not like I am a particularly impatient person, it's just that I like to have as much information as possible before I act and the baby's sex is information that I have access to. Why the hell wouldn't I want that information? And it's not like I'm really hoping for one sex or the other, it really doesn't matter to me. I just want to know who I'm talking to, I don't want to keep typing his/her s/he when I'm talking about the baby. I want to address the little one by name as I chat with my belly (yeah, I do that. Wanna make something of it? I warn you I have very unrepentent hormones on my side) I don't want to be saying 'um, hi Jack or Kate, it's Mommy' . That just feels wrong to me. You know, this is turning into a essay... check it out here. Cowboy Rick: Thanks for asking what I think. July 5, 2004 I did the most pregnant dame thing EVER yesterday. I was strolling through the supermarket and happened to catch a glimpse of some cherry danishes in someone else's cart. I thought 'mmm, cherry danishes' and before I knew it I had trotted back to the bakery section and picked up a package. Then, after I had paid for my groceries, I sat in my car in the parking lot and ate one of them danishes. It was excellent and came with the added bonus of being able to laugh at myself for being a stereotype. It could have been worse though, I could have started wolfing them down in the bakery section! I started feeling the baby move last week. If I hadn't been pregnant before I don't think I would have recognized the feeling but it's definitely the little one swimming around. It's not so much a kick yet (apparently her/his joints are not so much up to the kicking at this point) but it was definite movement. The weird thing is that I could barely feel it from the inside, it was mostly discernible when I put my hand on my belly. Cool though. Of course, now as I'm typing I feel an actual honest to goodness kick. I guess those limbs are ahead of schedule! Go baby! © Christine C. Hennebury 2003 |
